Izzy's nursery pictures, and a visit to a farm

Welcome to a picturific blog post. I still can't find my camera. I'm starting to think that I pulled it out to ensure it was packed and umm...then didn't pack it. I also can't find my phone charger so basically I'm a hot mess all around.  It was up till almost 4am with Izzy, first sleeping then crying then feeding then sleeping (the baby, not me!) so I'm a little tired. Luckily I'm a night person so being up late and sleeping in works better for me than trying to force myself to bed early.
Okay peeps--picture time!

all ready to go home. It took awhile to get her in the carseat because the latch for it was bigger than her legs...

I loved this bedding. I mean, purple and green--too cute.  I painted the letters to her name and put lots of decals. Hanging there is a mobile my friend Mona and I made using paper cranes.  You can see a second one in the picture below

These three hanging things came with the bedding. I'm going to cut the tags off, but I didn't have scissors.  You can see more of the cranes on the right side of the picture

decals! If you notice that they stop it is b/c I didn't want their son (18months) to figure out how to peel them off, stand on the guest bed and do just that. Yeah, he would. He got in the bathtub fully dressed tonight. 

The decals are from Michaels.  They work pretty well but the flowers come up pretty easily, even if you use the 'applicator' (basically a credit card sans the buying power. I bought a pack of flowers and a pack of multi-shaped circles. I used about .... 2/3s of them.

I was so proud of these magnetic butterflies. I was soooooo sad/pissed off when they all started falling off the wall.  Warning--if your wall is 'textured' in any way they won't stay up.  Now to find some double sided tape and ensure they never move again. Sadly I broke one in the dark not realizing it had fallen. I have a picture that my friend and I colored that can also go there.  Still figuring where to put that.

a bedding close up.  The sheet is light green, although it looks...white? In this picture.  I love purple, butterflies and flowers, so thats what Izzy got! I owe you more pictures of the bedding. I found it at babies 'r us online clearance from around $130 dollars to $60.  The quality seems pretty good, and it is really pretty and soft. 

A farm visit:
Last friends of ours (former co-worker of the hubs and his wife) bought some land and started farming in their 'free' time.  They have chickens, turkeys, guinea hens, and baby ducklings.  They have baby goats too that they are getting next month.  We had so much fun when we lived here going down to the land and camping out with a big fire.
After finishing the nursery I got a call from my friends A&L asking if I wanted to come down to the farm and then back to their place to see baby ducks.  When they ask you to the farm, just assume you'll work.  I forgot to bring work shoes, so my gym shoes might have chicken poo on them still. Oh well, I've been wearing them in wet grass a lot to clean them.  I really wanted to go visit these guys:

baby ducklings...so adorable and incredibly soft. They are starting to get little butt feathers. Too cute! They still live A&L's dining room.  

 Note: ducklings aren't a fan of being held, but they don't really mind being pet if you just let them walk around 

Ducklings all snuggled up under the heat lamp.  Percy, their youngest kitty loves to sit on top of the cage and stare at them.  We can't figure out if it is an instinctual thing where he knows he should hunt, or if he just likes how warm it is by the heat lamp, or if the moving cheeping creatures are just fun to watch.  Oddly, the ducklings don't seem to care, at all.  Percy will spend a big chunk of his day just staring at them.

This is two days worth of eggs. There are a couple of dozen there. L found a cache of 6 eggs one hen had hidden in part of the barn they don't usually go in.  Some of the hens lay green eggs, the rest brown.
A washed the eggs and made me box them for him later.  He sent me back to my friends house with a dozen.  Guess what we had for breakfast *yum!*  They are overrun with eggs, and selling them cheap (cheaper than non organic and these sucks are totally free range cage free organic and delish)--near Morgantown and want some? Write to me!

Last but not least...this little jerk was following me around.  He likes to puff up his feathers and gobble.  We gobble back and have conversations. He doesn't like women, since he apparently thinks that we are his competition for his ladies attention.  The ladies are much nicer.  I had to pick up a stick and prod him to keep him from trying to peck me.  The dog is terrified of the turkeys since he got pecked pretty hard.  

I think that's it. The baby is eating, big brother is watching Mickey. My back is NOT happy about having helped turn soil in the garden and then right as we were about to leave a guinea fowl escaped. We tried to catch it (circle around and chase it back into it's pen) but it decided to be independent. It was a fun day:)

Old Friends, Old Insecurities

On Friday I packed up my husbands SUV and headed out to West Virginia.  I was supposed to go to Baltimore to have lunch with Roni from greelitebites.com, but once again our plans were foiled, first by weather and then by an event that had been rescheduled to this Friday, due to weather LAST Friday. We will have lunch eventually, hopefully before her baby is born lol.
Right now I am watching my friend's son mumbling and giggling while attempting to catch a cat who is not at all interested in being caught.  I managed to show up around lunch time Friday, since I left right after the morning rush hour.  Traffic was fantastic (meaning, minimal) all the way here, and uneventful.
While my life before I left WV was concentrated mainly around toddlers, and how much I desperately wanted a baby, being around them again makes me wonder. Do I want all the noise, the constant needs, whining and stress? People have told me since I can remember what a great mother I would make while I constantly question how true that statement is.  Am I able to give my friend's kids my 'all' because it is short term? If I had my own, would I just become lazy? I have all of these ideas of the mother that I would like to be, the activities that I would like to do with my kids, the places I want to go. Does everyone reassess their desire or ability to be a parent around time when there is no going back?    Here is the thing....all those insecurities aside, I know I can do it. I also know that I will try my hardest to give it my all, and am not afraid to ask for help. Above all, I know that I have my amazing husband who will stand by my side through it all.
I also had another realization.  I am more judgmental than I should be. I don't think that is it possible to be completely non-judgmental just as it is impossible to be completely objective, but I could definitely judge less.  My friends raise their kids as they see fit, and I should just give their children all of the love I can in the world while I am there, and raise my children as I see fit.  I tend to think since I read constantly and research that everyone should want to know that I have to think, but I also need to learn to shut my mouth, even if I disagree with people.
I'm in a funk...I am really really tired and I haven't been sleeping well. My friend told me that basically, it isn't healthy that I am waking up every 90 minutes, and remembering it every single time.  At home it is mostly because my husband's snoring will wake me completely.  While visiting friends it is because I am on a different bed. I don't want to take medicine but I only vaguely remember the last time I slept through the night without waking up, and it involved sleeping in my bed, alone, while my husband was out of town.  I want to sleep with my husband, I love the feel of being next to him, and even here while I am away I still find myself reaching for him and longing for his heat and presence next to me.   Ear plugs you say? Oh, I've tried them, many a time.  They either fall out, or make my ears itch horribly so even if I fall asleep I end up TAKING them out in my sleep.  I think I just need a really really comfortable guest bed.  In the mean time, pardon me if I am a little grouchy and sleepy.