What's cooking? Minestrone soup! (vegetarian, diary/gluten free)

I just set up a new tab on my homepage called "Leaniepi Designs" to show off all my crafty goods. I will be updating it with lots of stuff, and am taking orders.  Please help support my crafting hobbies!  

I've been trying hard (as per my goals!) to make more of an effort to meal plan.  When I visited my friend last week I saw that she had this awesome meal plan/grocery list notepad (that I can't find online, but this one is similar).  I sat down with my husband and we planned out meals for the week, and made a shopping list. I then went and bought it all!  Part of that planning was making (and buying) for this soup recipe that I'd seen on pinterest.  It took me a week to make it, but I just finished my first bowl, and it was DELICIOUS!  My husband, who hates minestrone soup tries not to gag at the smell, but I'm overjoyed to have soup to eat. 

Minestrone Soup

adapted from : Sprinkles of Parsley Original Recipe

(check out the origional URL for TONS of beautiful pictures)

Family Recipe

Ingredients

1 onion, finely diced

1 garlic clove, minced

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 large 16 oz can of tomatoes

2 stalks of celery, diced

1 large carrot, diced

1 yellow zucchini, sliced and halved

1 can of kidney beans

1 can of chick peas

1 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

2 tablespoons of olive oil

1 teaspoon dried thyme

1/2 teaspoon dried sage

2 bay leaves

tabasco sauce or 1 tablespoon of red wine vinegar

3 cups of spinach, roughly chopped

2 fresh tomatoes

small pasta

Directions

Finely dice one onion and mince one large garlic clove. Put into a large pot with 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Saute on medium/high heat until the onions are clear and cooked through, about 10 minutes. Add 10 cups of water or chicken stock. Add one large can of plum tomatoes. Any tomato will do, such as diced or stewed. Bring the water to a boil on high heat, then lower the temperature to medium and simmer for 20 minutes. Then with a hand blender, blend the broth until the onions and garlic have been pureed and are no longer visible. You should puree the tomatoes a little to try and break them up, but keep them chunky and not completely blended.

Meanwhile, prepare your vegetables. Rinse the canned beans and set aside. Wash and dice the celery and carrots. Wash and slice the zucchini into 1/4 inch thick slices. Cut them in half to make half moon shapes. Once your vegetables have been prepped, add them to the pot. Season your broth with the salt, pepper, 2 tablespoons of olive oil, thyme, sage, 2 bay leaves and a few dashes of tabasco sauce. Bring to a boil. Then cover and simmer on low heat for 2-4 hours. The longer it cooks, the more the flavors will blend. This soup is even better the next day.

20 minutes before you're ready to serve, rinse and roughly chop 3 cups of spinach. Add the spinach and 2 whole tomatoes (stems removed) to your pot of soup. The tomatoes will break down in the hot broth, adding additional flavor and color to your soup. Also add your pasta at this time, about 3 tablespoons or 1/4 cup if you prefer a thicker soup. At this time, adjust the seasoning to your desired taste, adding additional salt and tabasco sauce. Continue to cook for 20 minutes and serve with a sprinkling of parmesan cheese.

changes to recipe:

• I used almost entirely organic beans, stock and veggies. Organic is good :)...and Costco carries it. 
• I used about 1/3 cup pasta elbow macaroni--it lead to me having like 3 pieces of macaroni per serving (no joke). You can add more, or none! 
• I used red wine vinegar. I didn't need spice, and my husband wasn't going to touch it. 
• I used two small yellow zucchini's. They cook down and don't taste squashish at all. At Trader Joe's, they come in a pair, so I figured I would use it all.    
• My husband managed to use our last big tomato while I was gone so I dropped in two roma's during the last 20 minutes.  I can't complain, he made some awesome spaghetti sauce with it. 
• I served it with a bit of parm cheese. Once again, for a dairy free version, leave it out !

I bought an immersion blender after reading this recipe. I knew I needed one anyways, but after buying one at Costco, I was blown away by all the stuff that it does.  That entire onion you need to chop? I used the blender! It was fun, quick and easy to clean up.  I bought one to help me make soups, I didn't expect that I could use it for baby food, smoothies, and chopping up veggies. I think I need to get rid of some cross purpose kitchen stuff, because I've gotten a little carried away over the last year. 

Leaniepi Designs Sale Time!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

In honor of our finally having cold weather, I am going to do a hat sale for the month of February.  I will be giving a 15% discount on all of my hats, and if you order more than one item (not only hats!) you'll receive free shipping. If you have questions about anything, you can either leave it in a comment or email me at eileenkward(at)gmail(dot)com.

My monkey hats have been so much fun to make and wear!  I have two left, but I can custom make them as well.

This toddler hat is a soft pink with a cute purple flower.  It's 20 inches  approx. in
diameter and should fit most toddlers and small kids. It's pretty stretchy yarn too.  ($20)

(Another kid's hat shot)

Monkey hat with his little monkey friend (Monkey Hat 1, $27)

Monkey 2, $27 

Another shot of Monkey 1, $27

This purple slouchy beret is perfect for these windy days.  The thick  multicolored purple
yarn is super soft.  $17

This black/grey beanie will fit both men and women. It's stretchy and warm. $15

Purple beanie $15

I have soooooooo much more stuff to post, and will continue to. I also plan on adding these pictures under a tab on the main page so people can continue to persuse and order.

I hope everyone had a beautiful day!

Fandooble Game review

Two days before Christmas my forward thinking husband (who never procrastinates) decided it was time to shop for Christmas.  He apparently walked over the mall, walked in the bookstore and just bought a bunch of games and a couple of books for me.  He loves playing games, and thinks that getting me hooked in board games will both create a geekier wife for him, and be a gateway drug to the opium that are full fledged video games. We shall see. I have the attention span for board games, but video games just seem to take too much commitment.

And the sneaky Fandooble that steals coins from your 'friends' in the game

Two of the games that we've played a lot are Dominion (I'll blog about that later) and Fandooble.  Fandooble is a pretty simple dice game that depends on a little lucky, and some strategy too.  In the gmae you are trying to get the most gold coins.  You steal coins from both red and green dragons and also the other players.  There are green dragons that end your turn if you get three of them and then there are the dreaded red dragon, which, if you are unfortunate to roll three of, you lose all of your coins. I had almost won the game...there were only a couple of gold pieces left when tragedy struck.

yeah that would be 3 red dragons and me looking very very sad

And all the damn coins I lost

 Needless to say, I lost this game really badly.  It's such a fun game though that is family friendly, easy to teach and learn and doesn't take a really long time to play.

The box top

Check it out on Amazon HERE.

When what I read doesn't reflect what I believe

I have an addiction and it's coming back to haunt me.  Okay, I admit it. As a hobby, I study religious fundamentalism, and spend exorbinate amounts of time reading blogs written by fundamental Christians.  I read about fundamentalism in other faiths too, but my link to all the blogs is mainly focused on Christian evangelical fundamentalist and the damaging effects of isolation and patriarchy.  Today while looking over my blog, I saw this ad in my adsense ad on the side of my screen.

Crap!  Google is recording all of those pages that I go to, and using that history to advertise to me. Can they not also see the fact that I come to these sites through a snark board that is dedicated to teaching about the ills of religious fundamentalism?

If Google really wanted to advertise to me, they would advertise the book The Unlikely Disciple! It's about a guy that goes to Liberty for a semester to attempt to understand the rise in religious fundamentalism in this country. Excellent book--read it!

Where do I come from? Nature vs. Nurture

As much as I put my life out on the Internet by having a blog, I rarely blog about things that are very personal to me.  I worry about hurting feelings, and I know that everything you put on the Internet can come back and bite you in the ass later.  The thing is though, that this is MY story and I'm going to own it, feelings be damned.

My mother and father divorced when I was a baby. I think she left him when I was around six months old.  Their relationship was volatile, abusive and crappy all around.  They shouldn't have been married to start with, and I wonder frequently if they fed off of each other's addictions and bad habits. I don't remember it, but my brother who is 2.5 years older than I am, does.  I remember seeing my biological father (let's just go for BF for brevity) only once when I was a child. My mom re-married when I was three.  I call him my Dad and I give him all props for raising me and helping me become the person I am today.

Every little girl has a dream that someone will take her away from her mundane existence and turn her into a pretty princess. Yeah, it's what Disney thrives on. Since I was raised on Disney, I always harbored these unrealistic hopes that my BF had actually gotten his life together, was married and that I would have a sister.  Yes, I wanted a sister damnit! I had the brother and he was a pain in the ass.  My mother was never coy about the fact that my biological father was abusive to her, never attempted to have anything to do with us, and had "issues."  I knew him through a singular picture that I saw once or twice as a child, and knew next to nothing about his family but I always wondered.

When I was sixteen, I begged my aunt and grandmother to let me meet my BF. I was sixteen, my home life was screwy, I was spending the summer out east where he lived and I wanted to know where I came from.  I knew I looked like my mother, not him, but there is that thing that every adopted child must go through. This quirk--did I inherit it? Can he roll his tongue? I can't (and apparently neither can he).  Does he have musical talents? I have insanely good pitch and my mother is tone deaf. What part of me came from him?  I think if you grow up with your biological parents, you miss these little things.  I saw my grandmother recently, after about a year, and I saw how her nose has a sharper triangular end like my mothers, but it has been blunted through the generations. Now the end of my nose is more rounded.  I see that she moves her body like my mother, makes the same faces like my mother and you wonder about the nature vs. nurture.

My aunt and grandmother helped facilitate my meeting my biological father that summer. This is something my mother will never forgive them for.  I'm still not sure how much of that dislike and distrust was already simmering under the surface of their 'relationship' and that this was just a handy excuse for her to cut off communication.  I refuse to feel guilty or apologize for meeting him. It was my time, I was able to make that decision and it should have been mine years before.

My aunt took me to meet him at a Barnes and Noble. I recognized him, not only from that picture, but because my brother does look so much like him, but life has been kinder to my brother.  BF was sporting a semi-mullet, and looked like the 80's never let go of him.  He smokes and it killed his teeth, he has scars on the back of his hands from putting cigarettes out on them.  Life...hasn't been kind to the guy.  His accent is thick, and he was kind to me.  We drove around, he took me into Boston one day, and for that summer he was very engaged.  He mentioned how he thought of me every year on my birthday...and then had the day wrong. Like I said...good intention, but the execution? Off.   I think that he really did want this opportunity to know us, and he does regret that he hadn't been a part of our life.  But, he also suffers from ADHD and depression which make it hard for him to cope with his own survival let alone attempting to carry on some sort of relationship with his kids who live hundreds of miles away.  

Over the summer I was able to meet my aunts and uncle, my grandmother and cousins.  When I saw my Aunt Linda, for the first time since I was a toddler, I recognized her. I could have picked her out of a crowd as being related to me. It was odd. I didn't get that with anyone else but her, and immediately liked her.  I don't regret that summer in part because my grandmother died a couple of days before Christmas that year and if I hadn't met her then, I never would have. My brother actually ended up going out to live with BF, but eventually came back home after some inevitable breakdown/blow up on BF's part.

Fast forward to now.  My brother has kept in touch with BF, but since I met him, and satiated my curiosity, didn't feel a burning desire to continue contact.  I had a life to live and college to attend.  I've sent him a few emails, but he doesn't respond much because he doesn't have much access to Internet.  The other night I was laying in bed, listening to my husband read  On a Pale Horse, and I got a text message...from him.  My brother gave him my phone number.  It didn't give me some adrenaline rush, it didn't annoy me, I felt almost nothing.  I owe this man nothing, and have gotten more or less that in response. I however have kept in touch with his sister Linda, and for Christmas she sent me pictures of when I was a toddler.  That...that meant more to me than anything else. Since I lived with my grandmother during this time, I didn't even know there were pictures of me.  Linda, I really like. Perhaps because she has a settled life, a wonderful son and a steady job. My BF is what I fear my brother turning into.  A brilliant artist without the social skills to do something with it. A wonderful brain but crippling depression that makes reaching his potential almost impossible, and a life I fear he has greatly wasted.

I thank my biological father for his ear for music and my Dad for teaching me how to play instruments and giving me an environment for learning them in.  I thank my BF for creating me and knowing that he didn't have what it took to be a dad.  I thank my Dad for being that man for me and my brother.  My desire to know my BF has never been about my Dad not being good enough. It's always been about a need to know where I came from, and a desire to better understand myself and my motivations.  I've been so lucky in my life, and so blessed.  Yes, I suffer from some of the same things that my BF and mother suffer from but since the environment that I grew up in was so radically different, I never turned to alcohol and drugs as a means to escape. I turned to books, and college.

Second Chances, how Facebook did NOT kill the high school reunion

or not! (image not mine)

Facebook** has allowed for me to get close to people that I probably would have written off after high school was over, and never talked to again.  I thank it for that because I am someone that always wants to give people second chances, and I've been blessed to meet people again at a different place in their life.  Unless you were the most popular kid in high school, you probably look back at those years and cringe at the clothing you wore, the crap you said, and the attitude that you had.  I know I do. I was annoying as all hell. I probably still am, but people seem to complain about it less now. I'm also...happier now. Numerous people have commented on this over the past decade.  I wonder how chronically miserable I was.  My teen years had happy moments, but there was so much stress, desire to escape and it felt like I had no one to talk to.  There was this chronic cloud hanging over me as I just prayed that people wouldn't make fun of me and humiliate me that day.  I gave up band my senior year because I couldn't deal with being bullied (private lessons though? Best decision ever). My history teacher wasn't kidding when he said I wore my heart on my sleeve.

High school was only bearable because I had friends that didn't care if I talked too much. They didn't care about my clothing. I had no money or fashion sense, and that's a deadly combination in high school. They didn't care about my hair, which probably always looked awful because I suffer from dandruff and didn't learn what a flat iron was until college.  Looking back...I really was a hot mess, but also fortunate to meet some amazing non judgmental people that I still consider some of my closest friends.

When facebook came around I didn't know if I wanted to invite any of the 'popular' kids to be my 'friends' but my brief  time on myspace showed me that with a little life experience under our belts, most of us turned out to be really decent people. A high school friend's ex boyfriend and I had some great conversations, and even found our significant others at the same time, and were able to share this joy with each other after reconnecting on myspace.  He was an idiot teenager, but a nice adult.

My first realized how much life had changed when I started reading a couple of blogs of women that I had attended high school with. The first was a woman that blogged about being a single parent to a beautiful little girl.  Since I moved 500 miles away for college, I totally missed that she wasn't with her high school boy friend anymore and all of the sudden (in my mind) had a two year old.  Her blog chronicled the difficulties of being a single parent while working and attending school, but also how she rose up to those challenges and kicked their ass.  She ended up moving recently and when I asked about her blog she replied that it was "written for a different time in her life, and that time is over." When I see how happy she is now, I smile to myself, understanding how far she has come.  Her blog was one of my gateway drugs to blogging. I got hooked her's and soon after I started reading it, got more serious about my own blogging. It really helped me see how we had changed since high school. We had been sort of friends in middle school (conspiring over nano pets, and our shared dislike of our English teacher).  High school, she got more popular, and I got more annoying, either of caring enough to be empathetic to the other's situation.

Another blog that I still religiously follow is the blog of the sister of one of my classmates.  Oh how I wanted to be her. Cute, petite, perky and popular. Do our feelings as teenager generally go past envy and jealousy? When I found her blog she had recently suffered a miscarriage, and I just wanted to cry for her.  But then, she was pregnant again, and through her blog I got to see her joy and belly grow. Then I witnessed the birth story and pictures, and over the last year have watched her daughter blossom.  Seriously? Her daughter is insanely adorable.

What prompted me to write this entry was being recently invited to join a group on facebook for girls that wanted to get in shape.  It was started by a woman that my brother was actually friends with first. It was startling to hear the tales of these women that I envied in high school because they were thinner and more popular than me, discussing having the same issues, the same struggles, and the same heartache in their journey to lose weight that I've had.

The moral of the story? Give people a second chance. Allow them to have some time to grow up. I needed it.  In the past, 10 year class reunions were a chance to diet frantically for the months leading up to it, buy your sexiest dress, go get drunk and accidentally slip up and admit that you cheated on so and so with so and so's boyfriend.  It was a one night thing that might lead to some renewed friendships but mostly, it seems to me, was an opportunity to show off pictures of your kids and how skinny you had gotten while feeling vindicated about how the popular kids got fat. One night.  One night isn't a second chance, it's barely enough time for people to want to spend time in the same room again.  Instead of one night, I've gotten 7 years of watching people graduate from college, get married, have children, build businesses and grow up.  I've had an opportunity for friendships that I wasn't ready or able to have years ago, and the freedom to walk away. When I go to my class reunion, instead of feeling awkward, I'll be able to see a room of friends.  We can skip the bit about showing off, and just catch up.

**Note: This wasn't meant to be a facebook is awesome post.  Yes, facebook has some serious downsides, like their business morals and privacy sharing but it has changed the reality of my generation.  I don't think that facebook has killed class reunions, but instead made them a much more enjoyable, less stressful affair.  I can finally keep in touch with family that I haven't seen in years, and watch through pictures and videos, their children growing. This to me is pretty amazing.  I can do it through google + too, and have been, so this ability to reconnect isn't strictly a facebook ability.

Sorry for typos--spell check hates me, and I can't proofread very well.

Commission--Hand Warmers

I had lots of fun making these for a high school friend. Luckily she didn't find out that a relative also made them until after they were in the mail;).  Hopefully they will keep her warm for years to come...like when we actually have a winter!

If you want to buy a pair, just message me.

See, I can't take a picture of both of my hands at once...

Now my husband comes to help.  My wedding ring is peeking out 

I won?!??!

I just got the news that I won a blog giveaway over on my friend Sara's blog! Since I pretty much never win anything, this made my day!

Check out Sara at:
http://strandupdate.blogspot.com/

Sara's blog provides hours of amusement through her blunt and hilarious take on all things related to life, children and the morons that we all have the misfortune of crossing on a daily basis. Please check her out, and enter some of her blog giveaways!

Lastly, here is your daily dose of OMG ADORABLE!

he had his little paw over his face!

What's Cooking? Spiced Couscous and Chicken

I've been blown away by the response to my last blog.  It's amazing to see that something that I wrote resounds so much with other people.  I was going to continue today with a post about the insane week I had, but my post mysteriously disappeared so I'm moving up a cooking entry.  


I love experimenting with new recipes, and things like potlucks are an excellent audience to try new recipes on. If people don't like it, they will still have other food options.  I found this recipe in Food Network magazine, and was able to also find it on their website. My friend Juli scored an entire box of cooking magazines, and I was able to snag a few recipes the last time I was at her house. It's hard to read recipes and carry a conversation though, so I found myself flipping through the same magazine multiple times.  


When getting looking for recipes, I try to look recipe with whole foods that are either grain free, or had gluten free grains.  I was also trying to find recipes that used what I had in the pantry! This recipe calls for whole wheat couscous which obviously has gluten in it, but I have two boxes to get rid of, and the recipe turned out wonderfully.

Ingredients:

• 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon ground ginger
• Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
• 4 medium carrots, thinly sliced
• 1 cup couscous, preferably whole wheat
• 2 cups coarsely shredded rotisserie chicken
• 3 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1/2 cup sliced almonds
• 1/4 cup golden raisins
• 4 scallions, white and light green parts only, roughly chopped
• 1/2 cup roughly chopped fresh cilantro, plus more for topping
• Greek yogurt and/or harissa or other hot sauce, for topping

Directions

Bring 2 1/2 cups water to a boil in medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Add 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, the ginger, 1 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon pepper. Add the carrots and cook until crisp-tender, 3 to 4 minutes. Drain the carrots, reserving the cooking liquid.

Put the couscous and chicken in a medium bowl; pour 1 cup of the hot cooking liquid on top. Stir, then cover tightly with plastic wrap and let sit 5 minutes. Fluff the couscous with a fork.

Meanwhile, melt the butter in a medium skillet over medium-high heat. Add the almonds, raisins, scallions and the remaining 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon. Cook, stirring, until the nuts are toasted, 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in the cilantro.

Divide the couscous and chicken among bowls. Top with the carrots and more of the cooking liquid. Sprinkle with the almond mixture and more cilantro. Top with yogurt and/or harissa.

Per serving: Calories 441; Fat 20 g (Saturated 7 g); Cholesterol 91 mg; Sodium 853 mg; Carbohydrate 42 g; Fiber 8 g; Protein 28 g

This recipe does NOT have a strong spice flavor at all.  I actually ended up added lots more cinnamon to mine when I reheated it.  I also used the used the cooking fluid to moisten up the couscous, and the fact that the chicken I snagged was wayyyy too dry.  I learned that you do not buy rotisserie chicken on a Sunday at the regular grocery store. Costco for now on. The almond mix is amazing, and because of the butter, the raisins don't 'burn' but rather just get a nice brown to them. They taste amazing. I actually made more of the almond mixture the next day to use up my cilantro/onions because people used it all up the night before! I guess I wasn't the only person that loved it.  

I've managed to lose 5 lbs in the last week or so by cutting down on my portions, trying to cut out a lot of gluten and sugar but most of all, only eating when I'm hungry.  I'm a little worried about this cough that I still have, which gets a lot worse whenever I have dairy or gluten so cutting most of it out was an attempt to lower the inflammation in my body and get rid of this cold sans antibiotics.  The side effect was losing some weight, and realizing that if I eat lots of carbs (oh like the waffles I ate last night before bed) I wake up feeling hung over.  It's still amazing me how much I'm learning about my body and the effects that different foods are having on me. 

Reflections of you...in me

A few months ago I came across a quote that changed my life.  Sadly, the original quote as disappeared, but it said something like "a soul mate serves a mirror to reflect both your good and bad attributes back to you" I think it said something about then using that information to improve. I got the bit that made the most impact though--that your soul mate reflects your good and bad back.

It made me suddenly realize that all those (usually petty) things that I get mad at my husband for, annoyed with him for doing, frustrated at are because I haven't done them in my life.

Here are some examples:

I get mad about his diet, probably more than anything else.  I see him buying loads of candy and 'treats' for me that contain foods that I shouldn't eat, and I see him spending way too much money doing it.  What I don't see is the thought that he put into the purchases.  That he bought this baklava at Trader Joe's because I once bought it for him years ago, and he really enjoyed it and remembered those feelings associated with it.  That he knows that I love goldfish and talked about how yummy I thought the canoli's at an Italian restaurant we went to were.  I see him trying to bust my diet, and never bother to realize how much thought and effort he put into these purchases and I am so sorry.  I'm not immune from bad eating.  I go out to eat, or to other people's houses and eat far too many chips, and drink soda that I'd never allow in my house.  If it's here, I'll eat it especially if it's convenient.  I suffer from the same bad habits so how can I judge his?


I have gotten mad about how he does laundry. In the past, while he was in charge of washing the laundry, it would smell weird and I'd have to rewash it using vinegar and borax. Once we moved to the new house it seemed to go away, until he was put in charge of laundry again. It was then that I discovered that he didn't know how much water/soap to put in and had been guessing. Why? Because no one ever taught him how to do laundry correctly.  I judged him before realizing that it was a teaching moment. I judged him on MY experiences, not his. Instead of getting annoyed, I should have been relieved to figure out the problem.

I get frustrated over him wasting his time playing video games and lamenting how he needs to be working on his projects more.  I complain about not knowing what he does with his time, but then realize that I have very little to show for mine. As long as I'm sleeping in until 10:30, and not getting any work done on MY projects, I've got no room to complain.

This post has been a long time coming as my understanding of it has evolved.  I think this topic has been the most difficult one that I have faced in my marriage and I still struggle to understand how to express my duel frustration of my own failings while attempting to not judge but help someone else improve. I need to stop getting caught up in myself, and instead understand what empathy really means.  The saying "don't judge a man until you've walked three moons in his moccasin's" rings true in my ears.  My husband has issues and struggles, but so do I. So do ALL of us.  If I want change--I have to BE that change. I have to show him healthy eating through buying, preparing, serving and teaching him how to eat and enjoy healthy food.  He ultimately is in charge of the food that he eats though, and I have to be at peace knowing that I have done everything in my power to provide him with healthy options and the knowledge to seek them out.

I need to be my own motivation in the knowledge that I am helping to shape and form our lives into something better.  Instead of wasting my time watching crappy television, I've gotten better about getting off of Facebook and reading books and listening to audio books.  I love working and cleaning while listening to audio books but television puts me into a stupor that is hard to break out of.  I need to start taking nightly walks on my own, not waiting for him to mention it.  I need to set up my Etsy shop and seek out opportunities and stop waiting for them to fall into my lap.

My husband is my biggest cheerleader. He will support me in any way that he can and wants nothing in his life but to make me happy.  This is the most amazing blessing that I could ask for but instead I've taken that for granted and have become lazy.  I ask him to get me things that I can get myself, to prepare food that I could prepare myself, taking for granted that he rarely tells me no.  This has to stop.  He deserves an equal partnership and sometimes I think that I feel such a strong desire to have things MY way that I get lose sight of this.

My husband has goals and lots of projects. So many projects in fact that he feels like he is drowning and may never be able to catch up.  Maybe if one of us will stop treading water and make some forward momentum, then the other can follow.  If that happens, maybe we won't feel bogged down by never realized dreams and hopes. The last thing I want is for either of us to look back in 30 years and regret anything about our lives.  If anything had been different, we wouldn't have met and I can't imagine my life without the best man I've ever met.