My Weight Loss Journey check in...I've lost how much?

There is a show on TLC currently called “My 600lb Life” that has struck a note with me. It follows around 4 different people that had gastric bypass surgery for almost a decade to see what happened after the surgery. It isn’t a before and after shot, but an in depth view of the struggles and the triumphs that they face.  This show inevitably makes me cry every time I watch it.  I had it on my DVR for weeks before I could.  This show is hard to watch.  The journey of being 600 pounds isn’t easy, and the weight loss isn’t easy either. People develop addictions to food for a reason, and it’s a hard hard job to face those addictions, admit to them, and then struggle to stay on top of them. 

The reason that that show is hard to watch, is the same reason that I started this blog.  It resounds so closely to my own battle, and my own constant fear of uncontrolled weight gain.  I started this blog after a discussion with my college friend Benita.  I had been thinking seriously about getting some sort of bariatric surgery to help me lose weight.  At 300 pounds, getting to anything with a 1 in the front of it seemed like an impossible task.  This was about the same time I had an aunt that I’m close to (and resemble in body type) have gastric bypass and lose an amazing amount of weight,  feeling like she had energy and the ability to live for the first time in a long time.  Maybe it was laziness, maybe fear, or maybe damn stubborn persistence that I could lose this weight, that I never went through with the surgery. I'm still not sure, and commend those that were able to make that decision and have lost huge amounts of weight.

You sell what? *gasp*

It has been far too long. It’s been far too long since I sat at a screen, wrote down my feelings and shared them with the world.  I take pictures, I script out blogs in my head, but my lazy distracted self has failed in blogging lately.  One of the reasons is that it’s really hard to just shoot off fast posts. I have to sit, and ponder and then percolate, and eventually genius ends up on the screen. Just kidding about the genius, but I don’t want you to read anything stream of conscious from me. If you think I get distracted by sparklies in conversations, my writing is worse. I write in paragraphs and then somehow make things sort of fit together. Sort of…see, I’m trying.  Plus, if I don’t at least make a cursory attempt a editing, my husband…judges.  

So my life has been taken up by sex toys, and it’s been difficult for me to figure out exactly what level of hilarious but not necessarily ‘safe for work’ detail I should go into on here.  For example, should I tell the story of how my husband managed to hurt is back ‘lifting a crate of dildos,’ or how I almost shot a ‘sleeve’ across a room while practicing for my demo, or how I fed a parrot a wiener. Actually that last one has nothing to do with sex toys, but it was fun!  So my life, if I thought it was reality TV worthy before, only got better when mixed with gratuitous amounts of lubrication, laughter and my own…lets go with unique, sense of humor. 

I guess I should write here more because someone other than me, and my husband should be in on these adventures.  For example, yesterday I was having lunch with some new women from one of my meetup groups, and they asked what I did.  They were intrigued and we were discussing my company, toys, sexuality and the whole gauntlet of topics.  After awhile one of my friends had to leave, so I turned on the seat to talk to the remaining person at the booth and glanced at the computer the guys in the booth behind us had.  On the screen was a picture of a bloody thorned ‘crown’ as I hear this guy passionately discuss how the thorns in the crown they forced Jesus to wear were 3 inches long.  Apparently I missed the Bibles the dudes were carrying when they sat behind us and began attempting to convert a fellow hipster.  Funny, the guy they were trying to convert was sitting with his back to me, and I’m almost certain he heard…everything that I said. And for the record, I wasn’t at all embarrassed. 

I love to study religion, and spend a huge amount of my time and energy learning about my faith.  I however am sick of ‘religious’ people that  straight out judged me and my character because of what they presume I do.  Yes, I sell sex toys… and lingerie…and lotions… and massage oils…and great products and great opportunities. What I don’t sell are the poor life choices, infidelity and immorality that their judgement charges me with.  What I do isn’t dirty. What is dirty is societies perception of people that use my products.  I say this now, and I will say it again—there is NOTHING wrong with have a fulfilling sexual relationship with your spouse (or partner because I’m not discriminating).  There is nothing in the Bible against finding your spouse attractive, and trying to be attractive for them.  There is an entire book in the Bible extolling the virtues of finding your spouse beautiful, and desirous.  There is nothing in the Qu’ran against having a healthy sex life. Heck, the hadith actually had requirements on how often men were required to ‘visit’ their wives based on their jobs, and advised lots of foreplay.  No, I’m not digging out quotes.  If you don’t believe me, I will thought.  Please just believe me. I’m lazy.

Starting a business has glaringly brought back into the forefront of my life, my inability to deal with stress.  I have serious difficulty filing things in order of necessity, or priority without first freaking out about feeling like I have a million things to do and no time.  I had a really really hard time in the beginning, feeling like I needed to shove as much knowledge into my head as could possibly fit. When I started having dreams about sending out invitations, and organizing and learning my demo, I realized that I realllllly needed to take a step back.  The crying and fighting with my husband weren’t worth it at all.  It wasn’t until I told myself that it was okay not to be the best immediately that I sort of allowed myself to relax a little. I still am freaked out…I’m worried that I’m having an open house this weekend and no one will come, but then I have to remind myself that I can only do what is in my control. 

That in mind, I’ll clean my house, I’ll make cookies, I’ll ENJOY myself, and I’ll let something be out of my control, because I’ve had an iron grip on that control for so long that my hands have cramps. It’s time to let them relax.  

Okay..brain dump here readers—answer these questions and get a prize.  Okay you won’t get a prize but I’ll write more;).

Who has read 50 Shades of Grey? Am I the only person that didn’t like it? Well…me and the 400 ppl on Amazon that said that they didn’t like it. 

Anyone else feel an incessant need to move their furniture at least once a month? I move my living room furniture constantly. 

Recipes—any new ones?  I just threw some quinoa, veggies and chicken together for lunch and it was tolerable…I may even go so far as saying it was good. 

Time management…what is that? 

Sleepy? I am, so I’m going to bed now.  

DIY Nasal Saline Rinse Solution

I hab a cold (said in most pitiful of voices). I always seem to have colds or some sort of congestion between being around kids, and having sinuses that are chronically swollen. People have been telling me for years about how much I need to do nasal rinses, and while I did them sporadically, I've only recently started to do them regularly.  I'm sick of being sick, and  if they help keep me from getting horrible sinus infections that are having to be treated monthly with antibiotics, I'm willing to shoot pressurized water up my nose.

For the record they AREN'T sinus rinses. You do NOT rinse your sinuses, but rather your nasal passages. If we could rinse our sinuses we would get mondo infections because anything we inhaled could get in them.  This little disclaimer was brought to you by my old ENT who got verrry annoyed when people talked about how wonderful sinus rinses were.