Ashes and Ice book review!

As promised, here is my review of the exciting debut novel, Ashes and Ice, by my wonderful friend, Rochelle Maya Callen.  This post is long, but it's because as a bonus gift, you're getting an excerpt at the end! So read my review, then go over to Amazon  or Barnes and Noble and buy it now for only 99 cents. I can't wait until the paperback comes out because I'm planning a giveaway then!   Thank you Lady Amber Tours for hosting this blog tour.  

Synopsis:

She is desperate to remember.
He is aching to forget.
Together, they are not broken.
But together, one may not survive.

​Jade wakes up with no memory of her past and blood on her hands.

Plagued by wicked thoughts, she searches for answers. Instead, she finds a boy who doesn't offer her answers, but hope. But sometimes, when nightmares turn into reality and death follows you everywhere, hope is not enough.

LUST. LOVE. LOSS. Sometimes, all that is left are Ashes and Ice

Learning New Skills

My husband is a geek, an alpha geek at that. He loves to make computer's sing and dance. You'd think that would mean that he had the nicest of computers, and nothing technical in our house would ever be broken for long. Yeah, so not true. Right now he's working off of a laptop he just bought, because this desktop that he built while I was still in college, kept blue-screening. His computer history since we moved into this house has been a comedy of error, and hopefully he'll build himself something worthy of the level of his geekiness. 

Valentine's Debacle

Time to delve back into my history a bit, before marriage came into the picture, while we were still alight with the glow of a new relationship...

Valentine’s 2009
I had just commuted back from a conference an hour away, was not in a terribly good mood. I had my period, awful cramps and it was Valentine’s Day. What a lovely combination, right?  The one shining light I had though, was that my boyfriend and I would be able to see each other that night. My husband and I started dating right after Thanksgiving five years ago.

New things to come, book reviews!

Soon you will be seeing a new feature on my blog--book reviews. One of my favorite bloggers has pretty regular book reviews, which initially drew my interest. I love to read but frankly, I'm getting sick of reading the free fluff that I get through Pixel of Ink. It's an awesome resource to have (and you should totally check it out).  My issue is that fundamentally, I'm cheap and slightly paranoid, and the idea of electronic books still makes me feel like I was jipped out of a real book. However, I will totally admit that since I discovered brain candy, as I like the call trashy fiction, I became hooked. It's like heroin in literary form, and I really need to expand my horizons a bit and read more genre's of books. I like funny, light and fluffy because it seems like too much of a commitment to delve into something that is deeper. Hopefully this will soon change.

A brief side note on my take on self published books is this -- power to you for taking the time, effort and energy to write a book. It's a huge accomplishment. As such, don't sell yourself short by not having a decent professional editor for your work.  If you don't, and I find any typos at all in your book, my respect for your writing goes down, and I'll lose interest pretty quickly, and your formatting will probably really annoy me. I will almost never stop reading a book unless the editing is so convoluted that I can't follow the story line.  Also, take the time to deal with the editing issues for the kindle to ensure that your typeface isn't so big that it can read on the moon and we aren't allowed to make it any smaller (this happens all the time!).  I know I make tons of typos here, but I'm not, nor do I have a professional editor. I sure as hell can't proofread my own work. Ask my last boss, she'd be glad to point out that shortcoming.  

Don't Kill Dinner Cover Reveal!

Everyone loves a good vampire book, so I had to do a cover reveal for this awesome looking book that's being released on March 15th!  

Series: The Rules Trilogy
Author: Jennifer Martinez
Genre: Urban Fantasy/New Adult Paranormal Romance (Mature audiences only. Mild to
moderate swearing and sexual situations)


Don't Kill Dinner Blurb:
There are three rules when it comes to being a vampire in New Orleans. 1) Don’t kill dinner.
2) Don’t feed from people you know. 3) Don’t tell anyone. Not too hard, right? Wrong. Kenna
is a new vampire filled with a passion that has turned into an uncontrollable lust for blood.
Will Arthur be able to stop her feeding spree before the coven comes after her or is Kenna
beyond saving?

Arthur has been watching Kenna for years, wanting her to try her own hand in life before he
gave her the ultimate proposal. Now that she has accepted, will his love be enough to save
her?

Author Bio:

One day while slaving away at her monotonous day job, Jennifer Martinez found her true
calling. Like a firefly in the night, the pages called to her. Once she caught the bug there was
no stopping it. Her fingers flew furiously across the keyboard winding tales of love, mystery and
anger. She snapped out of her reverie to find herself still behind the desk but at least she knew
who she was… Author Jennifer Martinez.

I like to think of myself as a beautiful conundrum. When I am not writing, I can be found
surrounded by my amazing family and 4 dogs or volunteering at a local animal rescue. I love who
I am and don’t mind at all when I get strange looks from people. I am a tattoo covered, child and
animal lover who looks forward to destroying peoples preconceived notions of what “someone
like me” would be interested in. You only live life once… you may as well make it interesting.

I love to get lost in a good book and hope that everyone will get lost in mine.

Links:

Jennifer Martinez on Facebook
Jennifer Martinez on Twitter
Jennifer Martinez on Amazon
Actor for Hire, The Rules Trilogy 0.5 Kenna’s Story on Amazon
Actor for Hire, The Rules Trilogy 0.5 Kenna’s Story on Smashwords

The Psyched out in the Work Out,

I had a rough week, healthwise and realized yesterday that I felt like I was losing motivation, so I thought that I'm exam that a little bit today. I'd love your feedback too!

Keeping motivated while losing weight is so difficult, but what about when we become our own worst enemy?  What I feel isn't talked enough in relation to weight loss is the psychological effect, especially in people that lose a large amount of weight. It's hard to look in the mirror every day and see a different person, even if you like the person that you're seeing in the mirror.  Basically--you know when you put makeup on, pout your lips all sexy like and take a picture to display yourself in all of your peacock glory on Facebook and you think to yourself 'damn I look pretty good in this picture!' Well, when I look in the mirror now, I feel like I'm looking at that styled up 'skinny day' picture of myself.  When I lost weight in college, I thought I looked good and I was happy with how I looked, but I don't remember looking in the mirror and feeling like I was looking at a different person.  This would sound great, and in many ways it is, but it starts making you question people's motives for being nice to you (would that person still like me if I was fatter?), it starts making you want to scream, "but that's not me!" at the mirror, and it can start planting seeds of doubt in your mind.

An open letter to my mom

Have you ever come up with this amazing idea, right before you fall asleep, and then forget it? I do that all of the time, especially with blog ideas, but last night right before I fell asleep last night, say to myself, "God, wake me up early tomorrow morning so I can write this," and at 4:59am, unassisted I woke up. The unassisted wake up is a miracle in it's own, because I hate mornings.  The only thing is, God apparently lives in another time zone, because I did NOT intend to get up this early, but I'm awake, and felt really compelled to write this.

My mom is an amazing lady, and I don't think she's give enough credit for what she's been through to get where she is in her self journey of life. We judge people on the surface, and forget about the journeys and the scars and experiences that bring us to this place in time.  If being an adult has taught me anything, it's that adults are just as confused, lost and seeking what they 'want to do when they grow up' that kids are, only they suddenly have a lot less time to do it in. I just want to let my mom know she's appreciated, and thought of, and loved. Even when I forget to call her, she's loved.

Dear Mom, 

I know our relationship has been tumultuous at times, but also know, that I love you more than words can express. I'm sorry for all of the times that I don't call, and I do promise that I'm not ignoring you on purpose, I just suck at calling people back.  I think about you all of the time, and have this childish hope that if I don't hear bad news that you're doing well.  I love calling you to update you on my life, and projects, and the silly stuff my cat is doing.  

Guest Blog! Beating the Social Stigma of Borderline Personality Disorder

Welcome to the New Year.  While I'm not one of those people to make a bunch of New Year's resolutions just so I can lose all motivation in February, I am someone who likes to look back, take account of what happened and use this time to look forward.  This next year I really want to concentrate on both the physical and financial health of my family.  I want to continue to learn about myself, my health, and set goals for myself that both challenge me but are motivators in themselves.

I'm really excited to have a guest blogger here today.  +Andrea Brooks  and I went to high school together, and she was more of a friend of my brother's than mine, but we reconnected on Facebook and it's been really amazing to see her journey for health this last year.  She was recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) which is a disorder that I knew very little about. The first thing I thought about when I read 'personality disorder' was 'multiple personality disorder.' I was very wrong!

Opening up about mental illness, something that society still tends to stigmatize and sweep under the rug, is a very challenging experience. When I was a teenager, battling with crippling depression, I never told anyone about my depression. It wasn't until I got to college that I realized that confronting your illness is the only way to treat it.  

I am so proud of Andrea for being able to have the strength and courage to start a blog and tell people about her experienced with BPD, while doing it in a really easily readable, and funny way. Also, I give her mad props for being on the ball and posting so frequently, which is something we all know that I am currently challenged with. And here is Andrea!
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Most people have no idea what Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) really is. If you've heard of it, chances are you have heard some not-so-nice things about the people who have it.

Well folks, I am one of those people who happen to have BPD. And I am here to talk about why society should NOT be so quick to judge and label people like me.

People with BPD have a very hard time regulating their emotions. When we get mad, we become furious….even over the simplest of things. When we are sad, we get depressed, and at times suicidal. Being happy is a rare occurrence. I am often wary of happiness, because I know it will be short-lived, and the despair will soon be back. Most of the time we feel emptiness, or void of emotion. Not to be associated with being sociopathic. We most definitely feel emotions when we have them. It is really hard to explain how it feels to be “dead” inside. Rest assured that BPD sufferers aren't like this ALL of the time…..just on our bad days. Sadly, bad days can often outnumber good days. This lack of emotion is why a lot of BPD sufferers turn to self-harm or substance abuse. We get so desperate to feel SOMETHING, that even physical pain or an altered state of consciousness is welcomed.

We BPD-ers are often self-loathing individuals. Sure, everyone knows what low self-esteem is, but this is more severe than that. Can you imagine HATING yourself? For no apparent reason? Let me tell you, it sucks. Compliments from others are quickly dismissed. We often seek out abusive relationships without realizing it. In our mind, we don’t deserve happiness. Suffering is what we know best, and is almost welcomed.

How does one develop Borderline Personality Disorder? Most professionals believe that it is from abuse or neglect in childhood. Not necessarily physical or sexual (although that is often the case), but children who grew up in a house where their feelings were not validated often develop BPD. A sad child is told repeatedly “You aren’t sad, you are just being a brat….shut up.” Or when they are upset and need comfort they are turned away instead. Those children are taught that emotions are wrong, and are not shown how to properly deal with them. As we grow older, emotionally we remain children in many ways.

How is BPD treated? Just like every other disorder…..medication and therapy. Sadly, there is no BPD medication, and it can be quite difficult finding the right combination of prescriptions to help combat the BPD. Therapy like Dialectal Behavior Therapy is highly thought of to be beneficial to BPD patients, as it essentially re-teaches individuals how to handle their feelings and to regulate emotions.

Unfortunately, Borderline Personality is very VERY difficult to treat. A lot of mental health professionals do not like to work with BPD patients because of the level of difficulty, and the often defiant behavior we exhibit.

By now, you probably have some curiosity as to the life of someone with BPD. If so, you are welcome to read my blog:

Andy has BPD, The (not so) hidden side of me.

My blog is dedicated to my journey in life with Borderline Personality Disorder and my quest to manage my symptoms and have a better quality of life. I am also married with 4 children, so this undertaking is not just for me. On my bad days I strive to do it for them when I don’t care about myself.

I also like to dispel certain myths about people with BPD. Do we make good parents? Are we horrible spouses? Bad employees? What about being a friend to someone with BPD?

Please stop on by and check it out!

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Thank you Andrea!  Please stop in an read her blog! 

I feel obligated add a disclaimer that neither of us are medical professionals or are trying to diagnose or treat anything. If you feel like some of these symptoms describe issues that you are having, PLEASE talk to a professional as soon as possible.  It is scary how many years people suffer, thinking that they are alone. You aren't! 

Do you have an experience with BPD?  Do you have it? Are you willing to talk about your experiences in trying to get help in the confusing field of mental health? We would love to hear from you.  

When a thought of war comes, oppose it by a stronger thought of peace

Around noon yesterday I saw an offhanded post about 'another school shooting,' a few down, a friend from my early childhood posted 'Oh my God...Lord please be with Sandy Hook Elementary. I can't even fathom the severity of this tragedy.' It was at this point that I turned on CNN and the tears started rolling down my cheeks. If the tragedy alone wasn't bad enough, it happened 15 minutes away from where I lived as a small child. I called my mom and bawled on the phone with her, asking how anyone could commit such an act of evil.

Weeks ago I had planned to go down to DC to see a concert featuring Munirih Sparrow and Gustav Besungu. The tour is called from Canada to Cameroon, and features this amazing mix of traditional Cameroon drumming and song, with Munirih's soulful folksy voice. Gustav is an incredible drum player, I could listen all day. I can't wait to break out his CD I bought.

More than a year ago I randomly clicked on an ad on Facebook advertising a 'Baha'i musician.' From there I found Munirih, and started listening to her music, which I just loved. Her voice is just incredible! I also loved that I was able to talk to her on Facebook, and when she was touring last year, emailed people trying to get her locations for house parties. Sadly, I had what I will refer to as 'the plague' and couldn't go. This year, I didn't want to let the somber mood prevent me from going to the concert, and when Munirih posted a message that said that it was, 'all the more reason to gather with strangers and be peaceful,' I knew I was going. Not knowing anything about the musician or the Baha'i faith, one of my college buddies who lives in the area agreed to meet me there.

The Coffy Cafe, where the concert was held is this adorable cafe in the hugely renovated area of Columbia Heights. I used to tutor around the corner, before the entire area exploded with growth, and gentrification. It was a surreal experience stepping off of the metro and being surrounded by all of these new buildings. The cafe was adorable decorated in 60's 'mod' style motif, offering coffee and crepes of all things. When I got there, Munirih and Gustav were there with open arms, and we chatted as I inhaled a crepe. It was good, I was hungry. I stopped inhaling long enough for a quick photo op. I'm not sure why I look so terrified in this picture though...

One of the first songs that she played was this heartbreaking song of prayer. "I am not of the Lost" is a song written from the perspective of a child that has died and gone to heaven and is comforting it's mother. She recorded this video yesterday, either before or after the concert, actually.

The night was incredible, and as much as I wanted to write some glowing review last night, I needed time to process the experience. The concert was a group of people singing, and gathering together with the shared goal of peace and faith. What a powerful way to combat the fate and divisiveness that we see every day. After the concert, and the necessary CD signings, my friend and I went in search of dinner (for me) and tennis shoes (for her). Luckily, thanks to all of the new construction we found both a sports store, and an IHOP within half a block of each other.

From Canada to Cameroon

IHOP seems to be the restaurant of choice to pour your heart out over sub-par pancakes and coffee. My friend, Rasa and I talked for a long time. I told her about all of the growth and discovery I've made over the last few years, and how I'd love to write about it, but it's hard to write down. We talked about our loves, our fears, our dreams, who we are and who we want to be. We talked about racism, prejudice, faith and religion. It was open, honest and powerful. It was a conversation without ego and facades, and it was inspiring. It was a reminder that friendship isn't about seeing someone every day, but about having a true, open and honest connection with them. 

I was reminded of the hope and love in the world. I was reminded of the peace that so many people want and consciously live with the goal of achieving that peace. My spirit was refreshed and my burden lightened. On the way home, I listened to my CD and cried for the victims and the loss their family's are experiencing. I prayed for them, for all of us. Then I got home, crawled into bed with my husband and hugged him just a little closer because I was once again reminded of the fragility of human life, and how fleeting it really is.

If you are interested in more of Munirih's music, check it out here.

Adventures with Galette

Growing up, my mom would always make us completely clean the kitchen before we started cooking. It annoyed the crap out of me, but rests on the sound principle that you want to have a clean and cleared space to cook.  Fast forward to now, and every time my kitchen is completely clean, I get this irresistible urge to cook or bake.  When I'm done with those projects, any desire to clean my kitchen has worn off though...leading to my only have a completely cleaned kitchen for short periods of time between my cooking adventures.

Yesterday, my adventures lead me to peruse my much loved Joy of Cooking book looking for something tasty but not difficult to make, and I came across a recipe for apple galette. It was perfect! I was staring at 12 granny smith apples that I'd purchased from Costco in retribution for the apples I bought to make pies that were too soft (all purpose my ass) but now I had no pies to make...or did I?

A galette can be many things, and stuffed full of whatever you want.  An idea of making or having one was planting in my head after seeing these amazing "pies" in Oregon with my mother in law. They had a weird name I couldn't pronounce, and thick yummy crusts that were folded over the fruits in the middle, and were created free form, without a pie pan.  They didn't have a top crust either and they look...amazing.  I'd seen galette's before, but it didn't occur to me until I was standing in my kitchen with leftover pie crust, an over abundance of apples and a cookbook to try to make it.  This one...was easier than pie (haha literally..it was easier than making pie!).  If you look up pictures of them, you can see a million different designs and beautiful ways that people organize the fruits.  I tried, but until I can cut things in a more uniform way...it wasn't happening.

I'm going to post the recipe from the Joy of Cooking, and then talk about the changes that I made (good and bad!)


Ingredients
1/2 recipe Deluxe Butter Flaky Pastry Dough (basically one 10'' pie crust and I totally cheated and used a leftover one from Thanksgiving)
3 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 tablespoon sugar
2 large firm apples, such as Golden Delicious (I used Granny Smith and they were perfect!)
3 tablespoons sugar
1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon (my book said 1/4, and I loooove cinnamon so I probably used almost twice that.)
Preparation
This is a bit like pizza, with thinly sliced apples on a buttery crust.
Prepare:
Deluxe Butter Flaky Pastry Dough (or pull out your trusty Pillsbury and roll it according to directions)
Position a rack in the lower third of the oven. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F. 
On a sheet of parchment paper or aluminum foil (I used a silcone baking mat that nothing will stick to, mostly so I didn't drop the galette) , roll the dough into an 11- to 12-inch round. Pick up the edges of the paper and transfer with the dough to a baking sheet. Melt and cool to lukewarm:
   unsalted butter
   Brush a thin coat of butter over the pastry, reserving the rest. Sprinkle the pastry with:
   sugar
   Peel, core, and slice 1/8-inch thick firm apples, such as Golden Delicious

Leaving bare a 1-inch border at the edge, arrange the apple slices in slightly overlapping concentric rings on the pastry. Fold the border of the dough over the edge of the apples. Brush or drizzle all but about 2 teaspoons of the remaining melted butter over the apples. Combine, then sprinkle over the apples:
sugar, ground cinnamon

Bake until the pastry begins to color, 15 to 20 minutes. Reduce the oven temperature to 350 degrees F. and bake until the pastry is golden brown and sounds crisp when poked with a skewer, 20 to 30 minutes more. Set the pan on a rack, brush the apples with the remaining butter, and let cool. Serve warm or at room temperature. The galette is best served the day it is made.  

notes:
1. So...I have no idea how thick 1/8'' in, so I went as thin as I could cut...and did NOT know how many slices that I would end up with. Next time, I'm checking out a ruler first.
2. You brush the entire pastry with butter basically 3 times. This pastry is already pretty much nothing but a fat, flour and water so adding MORE butter to it is a bit excessive, and frankly unnecessary. You CAN taste that last brushing as you bite into it, but I hate that greasy feeling that many pastries have from excessive amounts of fats.
3. This recipe only uses 2 apples (I saw another calling for 2 POUNDS of apples), so you aren't going to get that heaping galette you've seen in magazines.
4. You could probably reduce the sugar by half and see no change at all, or add some nutmeg or all spice. I really liked the simple flavors though.
5. When this is cooking watch it! Mine did not take as long as they said it would.
6. I wouldn't use tin foil or parchment paper. I would destroy this thing if I did. I have awesome silicone mats courtesy of my mother in law, and I slid it on and off a cooking sheet to put it in and out of the oven. After I took it off, I slid it onto a cooking rack.

My husband came wondering in after I pulled it out of the oven. I think he has this sense for when yummy food is going to be available for him to consume and he just 'magically' appears.  I mentioned to him that we probably needed to eat the entire thing today, and he drooled happily.  I wasn't sure I would like the apples cooked and exposed to the air, that they might be dry, but I was so so wrong. I took a bite, and was transferred to a land of sweet cooked apples baked in cinnamon and sugar and a crisp crust melting in my mouth. I need to mention that I love apples in a dessert.  Take me anywhere and I will order the apple dessert if given a chance. This thing....was probably better than my pie.  Maybe it's that there is less crust to contend with, or perhaps it is because the flavors, with only butter, apple, sugar and cinnamon are more simple and easy to deal with than adding in nutmeg and cloves and all spice.  Either way, it's pretty out of this world and we both agreed that we actually like it more than pie.

What cooking adventures have you been up to? I really need to make some smoothies and use a butternut squash that is sitting on the top of my fridge, taunting me.