We're Going To.....

So we left off with my husband thinking, that when I was talking about going to swim in'the Gulf,' that I was talking about his time overseas during the first Persian Gulf war. Feel free to facepalm--I did. The next day however, out of the blue, this beautiful Google chat happened:

To Orlando, or not to Orlando Part 1

You know those awesome videos on Youtube where parents tell their kids that they're going to Disney, but only when they're on their way there already? The kids burst out crying, and screaming and carrying on.  Sadly it appears my husband's only response is a soild 'meh.'

Ashes and Ice book review!

As promised, here is my review of the exciting debut novel, Ashes and Ice, by my wonderful friend, Rochelle Maya Callen.  This post is long, but it's because as a bonus gift, you're getting an excerpt at the end! So read my review, then go over to Amazon  or Barnes and Noble and buy it now for only 99 cents. I can't wait until the paperback comes out because I'm planning a giveaway then!   Thank you Lady Amber Tours for hosting this blog tour.  

Synopsis:

She is desperate to remember.
He is aching to forget.
Together, they are not broken.
But together, one may not survive.

​Jade wakes up with no memory of her past and blood on her hands.

Plagued by wicked thoughts, she searches for answers. Instead, she finds a boy who doesn't offer her answers, but hope. But sometimes, when nightmares turn into reality and death follows you everywhere, hope is not enough.

LUST. LOVE. LOSS. Sometimes, all that is left are Ashes and Ice

Learning New Skills

My husband is a geek, an alpha geek at that. He loves to make computer's sing and dance. You'd think that would mean that he had the nicest of computers, and nothing technical in our house would ever be broken for long. Yeah, so not true. Right now he's working off of a laptop he just bought, because this desktop that he built while I was still in college, kept blue-screening. His computer history since we moved into this house has been a comedy of error, and hopefully he'll build himself something worthy of the level of his geekiness. 

Valentine's Debacle

Time to delve back into my history a bit, before marriage came into the picture, while we were still alight with the glow of a new relationship...

Valentine’s 2009
I had just commuted back from a conference an hour away, was not in a terribly good mood. I had my period, awful cramps and it was Valentine’s Day. What a lovely combination, right?  The one shining light I had though, was that my boyfriend and I would be able to see each other that night. My husband and I started dating right after Thanksgiving five years ago.

New things to come, book reviews!

Soon you will be seeing a new feature on my blog--book reviews. One of my favorite bloggers has pretty regular book reviews, which initially drew my interest. I love to read but frankly, I'm getting sick of reading the free fluff that I get through Pixel of Ink. It's an awesome resource to have (and you should totally check it out).  My issue is that fundamentally, I'm cheap and slightly paranoid, and the idea of electronic books still makes me feel like I was jipped out of a real book. However, I will totally admit that since I discovered brain candy, as I like the call trashy fiction, I became hooked. It's like heroin in literary form, and I really need to expand my horizons a bit and read more genre's of books. I like funny, light and fluffy because it seems like too much of a commitment to delve into something that is deeper. Hopefully this will soon change.

A brief side note on my take on self published books is this -- power to you for taking the time, effort and energy to write a book. It's a huge accomplishment. As such, don't sell yourself short by not having a decent professional editor for your work.  If you don't, and I find any typos at all in your book, my respect for your writing goes down, and I'll lose interest pretty quickly, and your formatting will probably really annoy me. I will almost never stop reading a book unless the editing is so convoluted that I can't follow the story line.  Also, take the time to deal with the editing issues for the kindle to ensure that your typeface isn't so big that it can read on the moon and we aren't allowed to make it any smaller (this happens all the time!).  I know I make tons of typos here, but I'm not, nor do I have a professional editor. I sure as hell can't proofread my own work. Ask my last boss, she'd be glad to point out that shortcoming.  

Don't Kill Dinner Cover Reveal!

Everyone loves a good vampire book, so I had to do a cover reveal for this awesome looking book that's being released on March 15th!  

Series: The Rules Trilogy
Author: Jennifer Martinez
Genre: Urban Fantasy/New Adult Paranormal Romance (Mature audiences only. Mild to
moderate swearing and sexual situations)


Don't Kill Dinner Blurb:
There are three rules when it comes to being a vampire in New Orleans. 1) Don’t kill dinner.
2) Don’t feed from people you know. 3) Don’t tell anyone. Not too hard, right? Wrong. Kenna
is a new vampire filled with a passion that has turned into an uncontrollable lust for blood.
Will Arthur be able to stop her feeding spree before the coven comes after her or is Kenna
beyond saving?

Arthur has been watching Kenna for years, wanting her to try her own hand in life before he
gave her the ultimate proposal. Now that she has accepted, will his love be enough to save
her?

Author Bio:

One day while slaving away at her monotonous day job, Jennifer Martinez found her true
calling. Like a firefly in the night, the pages called to her. Once she caught the bug there was
no stopping it. Her fingers flew furiously across the keyboard winding tales of love, mystery and
anger. She snapped out of her reverie to find herself still behind the desk but at least she knew
who she was… Author Jennifer Martinez.

I like to think of myself as a beautiful conundrum. When I am not writing, I can be found
surrounded by my amazing family and 4 dogs or volunteering at a local animal rescue. I love who
I am and don’t mind at all when I get strange looks from people. I am a tattoo covered, child and
animal lover who looks forward to destroying peoples preconceived notions of what “someone
like me” would be interested in. You only live life once… you may as well make it interesting.

I love to get lost in a good book and hope that everyone will get lost in mine.

Links:

Jennifer Martinez on Facebook
Jennifer Martinez on Twitter
Jennifer Martinez on Amazon
Actor for Hire, The Rules Trilogy 0.5 Kenna’s Story on Amazon
Actor for Hire, The Rules Trilogy 0.5 Kenna’s Story on Smashwords

The Psyched out in the Work Out,

I had a rough week, healthwise and realized yesterday that I felt like I was losing motivation, so I thought that I'm exam that a little bit today. I'd love your feedback too!

Keeping motivated while losing weight is so difficult, but what about when we become our own worst enemy?  What I feel isn't talked enough in relation to weight loss is the psychological effect, especially in people that lose a large amount of weight. It's hard to look in the mirror every day and see a different person, even if you like the person that you're seeing in the mirror.  Basically--you know when you put makeup on, pout your lips all sexy like and take a picture to display yourself in all of your peacock glory on Facebook and you think to yourself 'damn I look pretty good in this picture!' Well, when I look in the mirror now, I feel like I'm looking at that styled up 'skinny day' picture of myself.  When I lost weight in college, I thought I looked good and I was happy with how I looked, but I don't remember looking in the mirror and feeling like I was looking at a different person.  This would sound great, and in many ways it is, but it starts making you question people's motives for being nice to you (would that person still like me if I was fatter?), it starts making you want to scream, "but that's not me!" at the mirror, and it can start planting seeds of doubt in your mind.

An open letter to my mom

Have you ever come up with this amazing idea, right before you fall asleep, and then forget it? I do that all of the time, especially with blog ideas, but last night right before I fell asleep last night, say to myself, "God, wake me up early tomorrow morning so I can write this," and at 4:59am, unassisted I woke up. The unassisted wake up is a miracle in it's own, because I hate mornings.  The only thing is, God apparently lives in another time zone, because I did NOT intend to get up this early, but I'm awake, and felt really compelled to write this.

My mom is an amazing lady, and I don't think she's give enough credit for what she's been through to get where she is in her self journey of life. We judge people on the surface, and forget about the journeys and the scars and experiences that bring us to this place in time.  If being an adult has taught me anything, it's that adults are just as confused, lost and seeking what they 'want to do when they grow up' that kids are, only they suddenly have a lot less time to do it in. I just want to let my mom know she's appreciated, and thought of, and loved. Even when I forget to call her, she's loved.

Dear Mom, 

I know our relationship has been tumultuous at times, but also know, that I love you more than words can express. I'm sorry for all of the times that I don't call, and I do promise that I'm not ignoring you on purpose, I just suck at calling people back.  I think about you all of the time, and have this childish hope that if I don't hear bad news that you're doing well.  I love calling you to update you on my life, and projects, and the silly stuff my cat is doing.  

Guest Blog! Beating the Social Stigma of Borderline Personality Disorder

Welcome to the New Year.  While I'm not one of those people to make a bunch of New Year's resolutions just so I can lose all motivation in February, I am someone who likes to look back, take account of what happened and use this time to look forward.  This next year I really want to concentrate on both the physical and financial health of my family.  I want to continue to learn about myself, my health, and set goals for myself that both challenge me but are motivators in themselves.

I'm really excited to have a guest blogger here today.  +Andrea Brooks  and I went to high school together, and she was more of a friend of my brother's than mine, but we reconnected on Facebook and it's been really amazing to see her journey for health this last year.  She was recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) which is a disorder that I knew very little about. The first thing I thought about when I read 'personality disorder' was 'multiple personality disorder.' I was very wrong!

Opening up about mental illness, something that society still tends to stigmatize and sweep under the rug, is a very challenging experience. When I was a teenager, battling with crippling depression, I never told anyone about my depression. It wasn't until I got to college that I realized that confronting your illness is the only way to treat it.  

I am so proud of Andrea for being able to have the strength and courage to start a blog and tell people about her experienced with BPD, while doing it in a really easily readable, and funny way. Also, I give her mad props for being on the ball and posting so frequently, which is something we all know that I am currently challenged with. And here is Andrea!
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Most people have no idea what Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) really is. If you've heard of it, chances are you have heard some not-so-nice things about the people who have it.

Well folks, I am one of those people who happen to have BPD. And I am here to talk about why society should NOT be so quick to judge and label people like me.

People with BPD have a very hard time regulating their emotions. When we get mad, we become furious….even over the simplest of things. When we are sad, we get depressed, and at times suicidal. Being happy is a rare occurrence. I am often wary of happiness, because I know it will be short-lived, and the despair will soon be back. Most of the time we feel emptiness, or void of emotion. Not to be associated with being sociopathic. We most definitely feel emotions when we have them. It is really hard to explain how it feels to be “dead” inside. Rest assured that BPD sufferers aren't like this ALL of the time…..just on our bad days. Sadly, bad days can often outnumber good days. This lack of emotion is why a lot of BPD sufferers turn to self-harm or substance abuse. We get so desperate to feel SOMETHING, that even physical pain or an altered state of consciousness is welcomed.

We BPD-ers are often self-loathing individuals. Sure, everyone knows what low self-esteem is, but this is more severe than that. Can you imagine HATING yourself? For no apparent reason? Let me tell you, it sucks. Compliments from others are quickly dismissed. We often seek out abusive relationships without realizing it. In our mind, we don’t deserve happiness. Suffering is what we know best, and is almost welcomed.

How does one develop Borderline Personality Disorder? Most professionals believe that it is from abuse or neglect in childhood. Not necessarily physical or sexual (although that is often the case), but children who grew up in a house where their feelings were not validated often develop BPD. A sad child is told repeatedly “You aren’t sad, you are just being a brat….shut up.” Or when they are upset and need comfort they are turned away instead. Those children are taught that emotions are wrong, and are not shown how to properly deal with them. As we grow older, emotionally we remain children in many ways.

How is BPD treated? Just like every other disorder…..medication and therapy. Sadly, there is no BPD medication, and it can be quite difficult finding the right combination of prescriptions to help combat the BPD. Therapy like Dialectal Behavior Therapy is highly thought of to be beneficial to BPD patients, as it essentially re-teaches individuals how to handle their feelings and to regulate emotions.

Unfortunately, Borderline Personality is very VERY difficult to treat. A lot of mental health professionals do not like to work with BPD patients because of the level of difficulty, and the often defiant behavior we exhibit.

By now, you probably have some curiosity as to the life of someone with BPD. If so, you are welcome to read my blog:

Andy has BPD, The (not so) hidden side of me.

My blog is dedicated to my journey in life with Borderline Personality Disorder and my quest to manage my symptoms and have a better quality of life. I am also married with 4 children, so this undertaking is not just for me. On my bad days I strive to do it for them when I don’t care about myself.

I also like to dispel certain myths about people with BPD. Do we make good parents? Are we horrible spouses? Bad employees? What about being a friend to someone with BPD?

Please stop on by and check it out!

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Thank you Andrea!  Please stop in an read her blog! 

I feel obligated add a disclaimer that neither of us are medical professionals or are trying to diagnose or treat anything. If you feel like some of these symptoms describe issues that you are having, PLEASE talk to a professional as soon as possible.  It is scary how many years people suffer, thinking that they are alone. You aren't! 

Do you have an experience with BPD?  Do you have it? Are you willing to talk about your experiences in trying to get help in the confusing field of mental health? We would love to hear from you.