I've been suffering from a writers block of sorts. I'm not ready to write another faith blog entry. I wrote about high school and my introduction to Islam in college. Next on my journey is meeting the little girl that I nannied for and learning about the Baha'i faith. Give me some time to think that through. This entry seems to just be a brain dump of all that is on my brain. I feel like I need to write, but unusually my brain isn't chock full of blog ideas. Before I go to bed I generally can't stop thinking of blog ideas. I decided today to follow the advice of the girl that sat next to be in first grade, who told me to 'start writing, and it will come to you and you will keep writing.' Best advice I think I've ever gotten.
I realized recently that I was buying far too many groceries for the two of us, because our old house guest was eating more than I realized, and my husband is eating a lot less than he used to. I have really had to adjust how much I buy, and try to plan meals. I have also had to learn what I like. Odd concept I know--being 26 and not really knowing how to shop for yourself. I'm great at buying for other people, but I struggle when it comes to what I want and will eat. I have realized that I need some convenience food. I try to keep the food in my house as healthy as possible, but at the same time I need some things I can just grab and eat. Trader Joe's cereal bars are currently a big thing. When I don't eat, my blood sugar plummets and I become a bitch on wheels. It isn't pretty. If you don't believe me, ask my husband. He'll throw a cereal bar at me, and get me a cup of juice and tell me to eat and then we can talk. I also love Chobani yogurt. It is the only Greek yogurt I like. I know fage is better, but I don't like it as much. I know I was making my own yogurt, and enjoyed it to a degree but *sigh* I am more likely to eat the Chobani yogurt. I just gave up and realized this.
I have this problem of buying food that I think is healthy, and feeding it to my husband and then realizing that I don't want to eat any of it, and it goes bad. Bad me...very bad me. So...had to reassess what I like and this time I went to the store I did that. I bought yogurt, and grapes and bananas and cereal bars. All things that are healthy, quick and easily eaten.
On to a completely different topic...
When I started writing a 'blog' it was on live journal back in the 90's. It was just that, a journal. It wasn't a 'blog', but more of a diary. I was writing to and for myself. This isn't so. I write about myself, and perhaps my writing has a cathartic affect on me, but it is is intended for other people to read. A blog is not a diary. A diary is meant to be read by one person, and one person only. This is why, despite my perverse love of peeking into other people's lives through their online journals, I don't want to cross that line. As open and truthful as I am about me, and my experiences none of us live in a vacuum. I refuse to compromise the privacy of people who don't want their business splashed across the internet. Nothing specific brought this up except for reading blogs that have gone down in flames after the writer thought that people would agree with their offbeat theories on child rearing and the readers thought that calling Child Protective Services was a better option. I wrote my faith series because it helped me, and as it turned out, other people. I didn't write it because I wanted to controversial or call out Christians or Muslims. I'll do that later (beware fundamentalists).
And now I switch gears again, courtesy of ADD!
My husband and I planned about a month ago to have a housewarming party this weekend. I had all of these people that I wanted to invite, since I lived in this area before and can't wait to show off my new house. I was disappointed when only a few of my friends RSVP'ed while the vast majority (think like 50 people) didn't. It was just another (probably irrational) blow to my ego this week. I'm just nostalgic for our awesome parties back in WV when we knew everyone that would, could and wanted to come before we even planned them, and without trying could get 10-15 people over for rockband or card games. I'm excited to have this party this weekend, I'm just a ball of angst right now. Yeah, that sums it up well...a ball of angst. I think laying in bed or the tub and reading more of Water for Elephants: A Novel is called for. We are reading it for bookclub, so of course I started it last night (to have it read in 5 days. Luckily I can read quickly, and I am enjoying it.