I am sitting here crying right now out of frustration. For the last couple of weeks my back has hurt, a lot and it seems to be getting worse, not better. My back has hurt for years. It took 3 different doctors and a excruciatingly painful trip to the ER after I passed out before doctors took me seriously enough to order an MRI. It turns out I have a badly herniated disc, and the others around it aren't in much better condition. I can't pinpoint the one event that herniated the disc, but I can't remember a time in my life where my back didn't hurt if I stood for awhile, or tried laying flat on my back.
Let me explain herniated disc pain to you if you don't know. A sprain has localized pain, you can pinpoint the area where it comes from. This pain is completely different. Yeah, occasionally it is a stabbing pain but generally it is this awful radiating pain through my buttock down one of my legs, sometimes both. Where ever the pain goes, I feel weak, like I can't move that leg. It spreads across my entire lower back and the upper part of my butt. If anyone touches/presses on it, I will scream...in agony. It was getting better after months of three time a week visits with my trainer and once a week adjustments with my chiro but now I feel like I'm back to square one, like all of that work was for nothing.
I really want to have a baby. I want to have a baby so much it hurts, but I'm terrified of getting pregnant and the pain being so bad that I will be literally bed ridden. I'm also worried about having to take medication that I wouldn't be able to continue when pregnant. I couldn't work now if I wanted to since I can't stand for long periods of time (anything more than 5 minutes), can't lift much, hell I can't even sit comfortably. I'm 26 and my body is failing me. I'm sick of being told that losing weight will help. I explained that the most excruciating pain I experienced from this was actually when I weighed 30-40lbs less than I do now, and that 40lbs heavier than this it wasn't nearly as bad. The next step after the adjustments are shots of steroids into the affected area. Oh joy, just what I want, more chemicals in my body.
I'm just frustrated and venting and...it's my blog.
I went to check out gyms today and the first one was huge. It is the biggest gym, by far that I had ever been to. Remember on Dodgeball, the gym that Ben Stiller's character worked at? Globoflex or something like that--it reminded me of that. It had beautiful amenities with a huge pool, locker room, salon, cafe etc. I hated how this over cologned man who was giving me the tour talked and walked too fast as he was trying to sell me the place. It wasn't terribly convincing that he even liked the place himself. I would be a number in a place where I could only find a parking spot during off peak time (I went before 11am and the lot was already packed).
The next gym that I went to was a small women's gym. I liked that it was women only and offered a bunch of classes with the membership. I didn't like that it didn't have TV to watch during cardio time, but their machines, while not plentiful were great makes (cybex).
Both gyms would require a significant financial obligation. The huge gym would be around 80 dollars a month, which blew my mind. I don't think I could use it enough to justify spending that much, just to take water aerobics. The second gym required either a long term contract, or a more pricey short time contract. Both are a significant distance from my house too...no gym around the corner. If I choose one of these gyms I want to know that I will use it. My husband and I once signed up for a gym membership at a huge gym and we never went. I didn't feel welcome, just a nameless face in the masses of people that were skinnier, healthier and much more tan than I. I don't get that feeling from the smaller gym, but there are tradeoffs. I'm going to keep investigating...
What is important in YOUR gym search?